Anguish
This is Chapter Six of Danganronpa: Anguish & Desire, Party Time!. In this chapter, the Ultimate Musicians set up a party to distract the other Ultimates from the motive MonoMech presented. Author's Note: "A suicide means you've killed the most important existence of all: yourself." - Monokuma. ---- After Saishi, Tani, Shiho, Shiomi, and Azama announced the concert, life continued just as normal. We all went back into our normal routines; Nakata went back to training in the gym, Yuka, Rai, & Yosano went back to their respective rooms to look at the dresses and suits they got and try them on, Sasada went back into a corner of the dining hall to play with Shiomi’s dating sim, Nakamoto & Shimazaki went off to god-knows-where, and now I’m left sitting with Satoshi, Tomori, & Obinata. Satoshi and Tomori both seem at ease now, or at least, a little bit more than before. Satoshi is in the middle of telling us a story about this one time he was out hunting with his old man, but, I can’t focus right now...there’s something that’s just off. MonoMech’s words from earlier are bothering me now that I’ve had time to actually think more clearly. Did he accidentally let those eight words slip from his mouth? “It was easier to split you all up, honestly.” Then, are there more of us? Are there more people doing this same exact thing as us -- are they the other Ultimates? I remember the night after I was scouted to come to Hope’s Peak I got an e-mail from a Pekoyama-senpai, the Ultimate Swordswoman. Apparently she had heard from one of her instructors about some of the members of the new class and ended up watching one of my matches from SGTT. I don’t exactly remember the exact words, but I remember her saying she was excited to meet me and was looking for more athletes for a team she was putting together, although she never said what for. What if Pekoyama-senpai is in the same exact situation we’re in right now, only somewhere else? Is it even possible to help? A hand taps my shoulder and pulls me right out of my thoughts. I look up from the table I was staring down at and I’m met with the stares of the three sitting around me. “So, you noticed too, Ken?” Obinata asks, smirking. “I noticed your face when that *thing* first said it...it was quite telling, wasn’t it?” “What was?” Tomori asks, tilting her head. “I didn’t hear anything weird.” “Then don’t worry about it,” Obinata shakes his head, before rising from his feet. “Pay attention to MonoMech’s words next time, Tomori, Satoshi. He tends to let a lot slip.” With that warning -- or, piece of advice? -- Obinata turns and walks off, shoving his hands in his pockets. If I can say anything positive about him, he’s observant. Not only observant, but really smart. I think it’s probably best if I were to compare notes with him one day about our situation...he probably knows more than the rest of us. “He’s weird, Rabbit.” Tomori sighs, resting her head on Satoshi’s shoulder. “I should nap before this concert.” “Why?” Satoshi asks. “We have like four hours left, so--” “That’s exactly it, Satoshi!” she says, cutting him off. “We have a while so I wanna get more beauty sleep in.” Are none of them really concerned about what Obinata was talking about…? Well, uh, I guess they don’t wanna worry about it -- not that I blame them -- but still, the more we know about our situation the better, right? “So, Ken, you got a girlfriend back home?” W-What? “Ooh, nice question Satoshi, way to take him off-guard!” Tomori exclaims, jumping back up in her seat. “Rabbit is blushing, look at him!” Bl-Blushing? But...ah, that’s right. I...I don’t remember. Why is everything always fuzzy? Why is everything missing? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO REMIND ME? I can’t remember anything...it’s like, big chunks of my memory are still missing. At first I thought it was only my name, but, I can’t remember my team...they’re just two silhouettes in the back of my mind now; I can’t even remember who I was with when I got the call that my mom was sick. Who was it? They were special. They were important. I remember that much at least. I remember generalities. I remember my family, I remember the moments I spent with my sister, I remember being bullied, but anything past that -- or when I try to remember the details -- is just...gone. It’s like I’ve barely even lived. “Ah, were you having relationship problems before we got here, Rabbit?” Tomori nervously giggles to herself. “Understandable, although who wouldn’t want a little munchkin like you?” Ah, was I making a scary face...or did I just look defeated? “S-Sorry,” I say, forcing a smile at the two in front of me. “Just, bad memories.” Tomori nods understandingly, before giggling to herself again. “Aw, you’re too cute, I was worried y’know, Rabbit! If you want I could give you some pointers on how to deal with us majestic creatures!” I smile and try to wave off Tomori’s offer, but, it wasn’t her that was surprising...it was Satoshi. He looks at me with this sadness in his eyes, like, he read right through me. I’m not sure what to think, and, I’m at least grateful he’s not pushing it with Tomori still here. “You’re all making pretty stupid faces.” a voice says, and, a flashing light hits the three of our faces. “Gotcha!” Before I even bother to look, the seat next to me and opposite Tomori is taken, and Tani -- dressed in her usual blue jean jacket and white tee as well as a pair of jean-shorts -- takes smiles to herself as she sets her camera down on top of the table. “Tani, why’d you change your dress?” Tomori says, frowning. “You were lookin’ gooood.” “Thank you, thank you.” Tani says, bowing to the table. “If only it wasn’t so uncomfortable to walk in...I’d rather wear a suit.” “You can see if Obinata has any spares.” Satoshi says. Tani nods. “Maybe I’ll do just that.” she pauses, looking back down on the table. “So, I need some help, if you guys don’t mind?” Help? “Sure, what is it?” Tomori asks. “I’m having Shiomi record and take pictures during the concert for me, and I need someone to make sure he has some fun too.” she says, smiling to herself. “You know how he can get, everything has to be perfect...” Oh god, is she that dense? She’s dangerous. “Yeah, that’s easy.” Satoshi says. “Leave it to me!” “Thank you.” she says, looking back up, and then to me. “Oh, that’s right, I promised you I would show you the pictures.” She reaches to the camera in front of me as Tomori snickers in the background. “What pictures?” Satoshi asks, although, no one responds to him. Oh god, I kinda don’t wanna see the pictures, honestly. “Later?” I ask, and Tomori nods in return, putting her camera back on the table. “Tell me when you wanna see ‘em, they are a-dor-a-ble!” I smile. “I really can’t wait to see them, but I’ll wait until after tonight so I can see the concert in one swoop!” “That reminds me,” she says, placing her elbows on the table and holding her face in her hands. “Who are you guys gonna dance with to my lovely voice?” “Who knows?” Satoshi asks. “Who’d wanna dance with someone like me…” … Is he fishing for a compliment? Tomori smiles and slams her fist down on the table. “I would and will!” she exclaims, slamming her palm into his back to which he winces. “You sell yourself short!” Well, he got one. “I wanna dance with everyone!” Tomori continues, nodding to herself. “With Satoshi, Rabbit, Yosano, Yuka, Kitoaji, Shimazaki, Sasada, Saishi, Obinata, and, uh, am I forgetting someone?” ...poor Nakamoto, he can’t catch a break can he? “I don’t think so…” Tani sighs, shrugging her shoulders. “Shiomi wanted to write a piece solely for Azama and Shiho to perform, but y’know, what would I do then? I think he was just being super rude, so, I just told him straight-up I wanted to sing for every song...why doesn’t he understand?” Is everyone in here super dense? “Poor Shiomi…” Satoshi mumbles under his breath, shaking his head. “Poor Shiomi?” Tani repeats. “Poor me!” I don’t know about that… “Well,” Satoshi says, rising to his feet. “I’m probably gonna take a power nap and catch up with you guys later.” “Good idea, Satoshi!” Tomori exclaims, jumping up to her feet too. “Maybe we should nap together!” “N-No.” Satoshi says, looking away from Tomori and to me...is he blushing a little? “Ken, wanna meet up with me at like seven?” Really? Me? I mean, Rai was probably going to ask the same, so maybe I should decline... “Sure.” ...okay then, I guess I’m going with Satoshi. “Awesome.” he smiles, before waving at Tani and myself -- to which Tomori repeats -- and leaving to his room, and Tomori follows close behind. Well, that just leaves Tani and I, the former of which looks like she’s about to pass out too. This motive took a lot out of everyone, I guess. “Maybe you should take a nap too, Tani.” I smile, tilting my head, and she looks over to me, her eyes glazed over. “You look...super tired.” She smiles for a brief moment, but it almost immediately fades. “Ken?” “Yeah?” “How come we don’t talk like we did in the beginning?” That’s a...weird question to ask all of a sudden. “It’s like, when we first met, you were prone to these panic attacks and I felt like...I don’t know. That first night we spoke for literally hours, me, you, and Kitoaji, and then it just stopped. Everything happened so quickly and I started getting left out.” “Tani…?” “And then, and then, Shiomi was the only one who would approach me of his own free will, and, I don’t know what to do anymore...I’m just--I feel so lonely sometimes.” I don’t know...I didn’t know Tani felt this way. I mean, it’s true that I only ever see her alone with Shiomi, and it’s true that I haven’t spoken to her since that first night where she told me about one of her band members -- Riza or Rize was her name, I think -- and how before every performance she gets panic attacks, like how I do sometimes, and how she gets through them. I’m such a bad friend, aren’t I? As I start back at her, her blue eyes begin to water, and she desperately wipes at them. “I’m sorry, Tani.” I say, and she almost instinctively shakes her head. “N-No, I am.” she says, her voice getting shakier. “Why am I even telling you this?” Is it because you have no one else to talk to? “It’s because of the motive, isn’t it? Are you nervous?” I ask, and, she nods slowly. “I’m not really good with my words, but, if there’s anything I can do to help, I’ll do it.” “Can you promise me something then?” she asks, pushing a strand of blue hair in front of her teary eye. “Of course.” “Promise me you’ll talk to me more?” I smile. “Only if you promise me one thing in return.” She tilts her head, and I continue. “Promise me you’ll talk to me more, too.” She smiles and shakes her head. “That’s no fair, Ken. No fair at all.” she pauses, and sighs. “But, I promise.” she then rises from her seat, and scratches the back of her neck. “I guess I need to talk to Obinata about that suit before I forget. Thank you, Ken.” “No, thank you Tani.” I say, and she waves goodbye, before exiting the dining hall herself. “Are you okay, Ku-chan?” Azama asks, still in her dress from before, standing in front of the door to my room out in the hallway. She has a brush in one hand, and a green bowtie in another. “You look out of it today.” “Aren’t I always out of it?” I ask, and she smiles in response. “Because I’m told that a lot.” “True,” she says. “So, you mind if we talk?” “I don’t mind.” I say, and I slowly walk past her and twist the doorknob to my room and open the door. “You don’t keep it unlocked when you go out?” Azama asks, shaking her head as she walks past me into my room. “Very risky, Ku-chan.” “How so?” I ask, following her inside and closing the door behind me. She looks back to me, sighing. “Do I even have to say?” I shake my head; I know exactly what she means, but, I still don’t want to believe that someone would actually kill. I don’t think it’s possible. I look back to my bed, and sitting on my bed are are the tissues from earlier today...I forgot to clean up. “Ah, sorry it’s so messy.” I say, slowly collecting them and throwing them in the trash bin next to my bed. “Don’t be, mine looks the same right now.” she says, before placing her brush and bowtie on the dresser next to...next to a box that I failed to notice when I first entered the room. It’s a white box, a green ribbon wrapped around it. She picks it up for a moment and stares at it. “You got a present?” “Is this the suit that MonoMech supplied?” I ask, and she tosses it over to me, and I catch and sit down on my bed with it. Azama sits next to me and watches as I unwrap the ribbon and open the box. In the box lies a pair of black dress shoes, lying on top of a folded, striped, green suit jacket, and Azama reaches over me, smiling to herself. Beneath it reveals a pair of green dress pants and a white dress shirt too. “It’s pretty…” I hear Azama say, and as I turn to her, she has the suit unfolded, and is staring at it with her eyes big and her smile wide. “Try it on! Try it on!” T-This is actually really embarrassing, but… “I’ve never worn something like this before.” I say, picking up the dress pants. “Uh, how do I even know if it looks good.” Azama smirks, before tossing me the suit. “Go change, Ku-chan. That’s what I’m here for!” I nod and take the clothing into the bathroom with me. As I start to get change, I can’t help but think about what Tani said before. She was lonely. She wanted to talk to me, and I never noticed. How could I be so stupid? She’s probably like me, in a way. Socially anxious, or maybe she’s just shy and had trouble making friends when we got here. I have to make good on that promise to her...she just seemed so sad...I don’t want her to have to wear that look any longer. I guess the best thing to do now is to just put my game-face on and talk with her tomorrow. After I finish getting changed, I look up in the mirror at myself. The jacket is still unbuttoned and the white dress shirt is buttoned all the way to the top...I feel weird. Sure, I love the fact that whoever picked out my suit made sure it matched my hair, but, I’ve never had anything like this. I’ve only ever had three or four outfits at a time...and it was always ripped jeans and plain white shirts, whatever I could afford at the time. I peek out of the bathroom and see Azama where I left her, and the creaking of the door is enough for her to stare at me. “Finished?” I nod and open the door, staring down at my feet. “I don’t know if this is right.” She smiles and slowly rises from the bed. “As adorable as the ‘estranged drunk’ look is,” she says, walking over to me, gently examining my outfit. She reaches up to my collar, and places her hands on the top button on my dress shirt, and unbuttons it. She then unbuttons the next one, too. “Where would you be without me?” W-Who knows? She then moves her hands away from the dress shirt, and grabs the bottom of my suit jacket, and begins buttoning it up. “You see, you should always go at least five buttons up, Ku-chan, that way you can show off the shirt too.” When she’s done, she backs off for a moment, tilting her head. She reaches back to my dresser and grabs the bowtie she came here with and walks back to me. “See, bowties are where it’s at, did you know that?” I shake my head, and she giggles, placing it around my neck. “Of course not.” She takes another step backwards toward my dresser and grabbing the brush. “Okay!” she exclaims, pointing to the floor in front of the bed. “Sit back down.” “What for?” I ask, but it’s not like it matters, I’m in the middle of doing it when I even decide to ask. She walks past me and climbs on top of my bed, sitting cross-legged behind me, and holds the brush up. “I do your hair, you do mine? Mine’s too long for me to get all the knots out, hence the ponytail.” I nod. “Thank you...this is just, a lot.” I turn back around and I hear a laugh as the brush comes into contact with my hair. She gently begins to brush my hair, and then she clears out her throat. “So, how excited are you for tonight?” “I’m excited, and uh, kind of nervous.” I say. “I’m excited to listen to you play, though.” “Why thank you, Ku-chan.” she says. “What are you nervous about though? Gonna ask someone to dance?” “N-No.” I say, a bit too shaky for my own liking. “Oh, you sure?” “Yes!” “Fine, don’t tell me, I’ll just keep an eye out during the performance.” she says, and if I was looking at her, I bet she’d be winking at me. “As the older sister, your love affairs are of top priority to me!” L-Love affairs?! “What do you mean by that, Azama?” I spit out, warranting a high-pitched laugh out Azama’s mouth. “Seriously, I have nothing like that going on.” “Are you suuure? What’s with the nervous response then?” “You just shocked me, that’s all.” I say. “What about you, huh?” “Okay, Stubborn, you can’t just ask me without answering my question first.” “Who are you calling stubborn?!” “You, Ku-chan.” she says, and I feel her fingers run through my hair, before suddenly removing her hand and the brush runs back over the area. “As I’ve said before, as the little one, you have to report back to me about everything.” “Little one?” I ask, scratching my wrist. “But I’m taller than you.” “You’re the little one mentally and emotionally!” she exclaims. “And you’re barely taller than me, so, that argument means nothing to me.” she pauses, and suddenly she grabs my head and twists my head to the side to face hers. She’s got an evil look on her face. “I could probably take you in a fight if I tried.” She lets go, and I look back to the ground in front of me, and she continues brushing my hair. “Even so, you know I’d never fight ya, Ku-chan, remember what I said? I must protect you at all costs!” “But, why?” “Just the vibe you’re giving me.” she says, and then stops the brushing. “Okay, my turn.” Just the vibe? Is there something I’m missing here? I rise to my feet, and the two of us switch places. When she’s sitting comfortable on the floor, she hands the brush back to me. She reaches her hand back and removes the scrunchie from her ponytail, and lets her hair flow back...it’s “...really long.” I mumble, and another laugh comes from Azama. “Right? I wanna cut it so badly, but unfortunately, the Ultimate Hairdresser is nowhere to be found in here.” she says. “I cut mine myself, you know?” I smirk, before gently running the brush down her hair. “Is that why it’s so uneven?” “You’re cruel.” “It’s my job!” she says. Ah, that reminds me. “So, did you come here only to have me brush your hair?” I ask, and she shakes her head. “This is just a bonus.” she says, pausing for a moment before continuing. “You need to be more careful with that Nakata girl.” Nakata? “I just don’t trust her.” Azama continues, and I continue brushing her hair. “I know you’ve taken a liking to her or something, but, she kills for a living. In a situation like this, I wouldn’t blame her for trying to take advantage of you.” “Take...advantage of me?” “Using your sweet and trusting nature to her advantage, playfully training with you so that when she strikes she can use that ‘I was so close to him though...I could never do such a thing!’ card.” I… ...I don’t think that’s true. I think Nakata really is nice and really does want the best for me and to help me… ...but… ...why is everything so difficult? “I, I think Nakata is a good person.” I finally say. “I know her past as a Merc might s-scare a lot of people off, but, I really do think she is genuine!” Azama doesn’t respond. She just sits there as I continuously run the brush down her hair, fighting off knots left and right. We sit in silence until I finish brushing her hair, and when I do finish, the both of us rise to our feet at the same time. “All I’m saying is that you should be careful.” she says, before turning to face me and smiling. She adjusts my bowtie, and pulls her hands away soon after. “You look dashing, Ku-chan.” I smile too, hers is too infectious. “You look pretty, too.” “My, my, my, quite the gentleman.” she says, before turning to the door. “I need to go meet up with Shiho now, Ku-chan, so I’ll be taking my leave.” “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, Azama.” I say, and she leaves my room, shutting the door behind her. “Well, now what?” After mumbling those words to myself, I plopped back down on my bed. This situation is getting everyone on their heels, preparing for the worst, I guess. First Tani with that surprising show of emotion, and now Azama expressing her distaste for Nakata...? I really hope that this concert goes well, and that everyone has fun, and this whole motive is laid to rest. I don’t know how long goes by as I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I don’t bother to check my clock, nor do I bother to go check up on Yuka like I was planning on. I’m perfectly content here. I just have no energy right now. Is it late? Ugh, fine. I roll over onto my side to face the wall where the clock hangs, and it reads 7:05. Shit, I have to get up and meet Satoshi, don’t I? So, moaning to myself, I roll off my bed onto my feet, and stretch my back out. I don’t wanna do this anymore. Sure, at the time it sounded fun and like a good way for us to bond and to squash this...motive, but, now that it’s coming closer to starting I’m really regretting it. I can’t even dance, let alone slow dance. I leave my room and walk straight to Satoshi’s room, knocking twice. In less than five seconds, his door opens, and he stands there, dressed in a brown tux, black dress pants, and brown dress shoes...he looks sharp. “Hey, Ken.” “Hi, Satoshi.” I say, and he shoots a smile my way. He backs up and motions for me to enter -- which I do -- and he closes the door behind me. “You ready for a, uh, fun night.” “Oh, you know it.” I don’t think he detected my sarcasm there. “I’m so ready to dance and listen to some Ultimate Music!” At least he’s happy. “I bet Tomori’s looking forward to dancing with you, too.” “Oh-ho, really?” Satoshi asks, smirking. “And what about Yosano? Nakata? Kitoaji? You got all these fools lining up. So dangerous.” ...what do you even mean? “There’s nothing going on with any of them, so, I don’t know what you’re trying to get at.” I sigh, sitting on the foot of his bed. “I was just saying that Tomori looked like she was excited.” Satoshi shrugs his shoulders. “Or did she?” “She did.” He chuckles. I like this...I don’t know why, but talking to Satoshi just feels so natural. He’s easy to talk to. He’s not complicated like Saishi, he’s not out there like Yuka, he doesn’t make me nervous like Nakata and Rai does. “I tell ya, Ken, I was worried.” he says, shaking his head, sitting next to me. “Earlier today you looked upset, so, I’m happy that you’re feeling better.” ...I can’t tell if these Ultimates are really good at reading people, or I’m really easily to be read. “Thank you,” I say, scratching the back of my neck. “I was, but, I’m better. How about you -- how are you holding up?” Satoshi smirks, throwing his arm around me, and shaking me. “What’s this, Ken? You trying to make me feel better?! That’s not how this works!” “And why not?” “Because I don’t need it!” he says, releasing me. “The motive has zero effect on me because they couldn’t find anyone I really cared about, apparently.” “Really?” He nods. “Aren’t I a lucky one? I was worried they’d find my friend I told you about earlier, but, it looks like they could only find one of my old middle school friends. Of course I feel bad that they got dragged into this, too, but they’re not anyone I’d kill for, you feel me?” “Yeah, I understand.” I say, and he scratches his chin. “So, does that mean--” “That means I’m here as a confidant!” “A what? “It means I’m here to help the rest of you to go through this.” he pauses, staring up to the ceiling. “I’ll do what I can.” “I’m sure everyone else appreciates it, Satoshi.” “I don’t care if they appreciate it, I only care if it works.” he says, before looking back to me. He is...so cool. “Now, let’s quit the serious talk!” he exclaims, putting his arm back around me. “Let’s talk about fun stuff!” “Fun stuff?” I ask, tilting my head. He nods. “It’s to pass the time!” he exclaims. Satoshi and I spent the next forty minutes really doing nothing but talking about...fun stuff? Or, what he thought was fun, like hunting and parkour, which I’m not complaining about. Some of his stories are really interesting -- he was telling me how one of his friends and him were drinking around their local park and a cop showed up, and the two ran and ran and ran and ended up coming to this dead-end in an alley and thanks to Satoshi’s parkour, they were able to jump up to a fire escape that the cop couldn’t get to. It was actually really awesome how he described it. Now though, Satoshi and I were on our way to the gymnasium, and Satoshi was adjusting my bowtie that keeps on tilting. When he gets back in place, he sidesteps to the right, stretching his shoulders back. “I wonder how long they prepare to go.” “I can answer that!” a voice exclaims from behind us. I don’t even have to turn around to know it’s Saishi -- just from how loud he is. “Only an hour, however, prepare for the most fun you’ve had since you got here!” “Really, Saishi-chi?” Nakamoto says -- dressed in a golden tux -- walking toward us. “Are you sure it’ll be the most fun?” “I am sure of it!” “Are you really sure?” the Ultimate Host asks, and Saishi again responds the same. “Whatever you say, Saishi-chi.” “You’re lookin’ good though.” Satoshi says, and Nakamoto chuckles to himself. “Thanks Satoshi-chi.” Nakamoto says. “If we were back home I’d have been working my magic on anyone who came my way.” “That sounds dangerous!” Saishi exclaims, and Nakamoto shakes his head. “Nah man, I don’t mean it like that. A Host’s job is to satisfy the customer, and if that’s flirting or paying attention to them then I’ll do what I gotta do. T’is a shame I can’t break Obi-chi out of his room.” Huh? Obinata isn’t coming? “He’s not coming?!” Saishi asks. “Didn’t he hear it was mandatory?!” “Yeah,” Nakamoto sighs. “I don’t know why, but if the bro has other plans then let him do what he wants.” “Unacceptable!” “I know, Saishi-chi. There’s no way we can get him out though.” “Yeah, let’s just leave him and enjoy the party.” Satoshi says, shrugging his shoulders, before nudging mine. “Let’s go then, Ken.” I nod and start walking toward the gymnasium with Satoshi again. “Wait for me!” Nakamoto exclaims, half-running to the other side of me, and before I knew it, Saishi had power-walked to Satoshi’s side. When the four of us make it to the gymnasium, we are met with the sound of a piano blasting through the speakers set up in front of the stage. Up on the stage, Shiho plays the piano, his eyes resting on a piece of sheet music, and Azama stands next to him, her violin resting in her arms. Tani -- dressed up in a white suit, that I assume she got from Obinata -- holds a microphone in her right hand, and a water bottle in her left. She’s talking to Shiomi, who wears a fedora with the suit he was wearing earlier. A table is set up by the bleachers, with bottles of water and balloons resting on top of it, and standing by the table was Sasada and Shimazaki. Sasada was sporting a green -- much like mine, except lighter -- dress. It really brings out her eyes. Behind her was Shimazaki, in a bright orange dress, talking to herself or to Sasada, I really can’t tell. On the other side of the gymnasium was...everyone else. Yuka -- in her pink dress and pink heels -- stands on her tippy-toes to try to reach Rai, who wears a bright blue suit, but she’s only barely reaching them. Yosano stands next to Rai -- she wears a yellow button-up shirt and a long skirt that matches -- talking to Tomori and Nakata; the former of which wears a silver dress, and the latter of which wears a black suit as well, holding Tani’s camera. Nakata looks better than I do in a suit...this isn’t fair. “Is that everyone?” Tani asks, her voice loud through the speakers. “Or are we still waiting on Obinata?” Saishi cups his hands around his mouth. “He’s not coming!” “That’s a shame,” she continues, shrugging her shoulders. “In that case then, everyone, please enjoy your night!” she looks back to Azama and Shiho, who nod in response. “Please grab a partner and slow-dance to a song Shiomi wrote all by himself, ‘Moons’.” The lights dim, and I look back to the entrance of the gymnasium where MonoMech stands -- dressed in a black and white suit of his own -- watching us with a big grin on his face. The piano comes in first, and, soon after the violin does too. Shiho and Azama together sound...magical. The way Azama effortlessly moves the bow from string to string, and how Shiho smiles as he plays -- it’s like he’s trapped in his own world. And then comes Tani. If I could find a way to hold your face Her voice reminds me of earlier today. How lonely and sad she looked and sounded...and now here too. Her voice is soft, shaky, yet strong. If I could find a way to find my place Oh then baby I’d leave the old me I wouldn’t leave a trace Someone pokes my shoulder, and I turn to see Yosano smiling her bright smile at me. “Care to dance, Ku-chan?” she asks. I look past her for a split-second and see that Nakamoto & Shimazaki were dancing, that Yuka & Rai were dancing, that Saishi & Sasada, Tomori & Satoshi were dancing too. I smile and nod my head. She takes my hand with hers, and I put my other arm around her back. I’m no dancer, so I let Yosano take the lead; she rocks back and forth, and something tells me she doesn’t know too well either. Oh baby I miss the way we stared at the moon Our bodies intertwined on the fields “How are you holding up?” she asks, warmly patting my lower back. “You feel tense.” “I’m always like that, you should know that by now.” I say, shaking my head. “What about you? Are lower backs always supposed to feel this bony?” “That’s because that’s my spine.” “Touché.” She giggles, resting her head on my shoulder as we continue to dance. “I’m glad, though.” I giggle too, and she looks up at me. “There is something that’s different about you now.” “Is there? Everyone still thinks I’m this nervous wreck.” “Which you are.” “Which I am.” “Still, you haven’t had any of those panic attacks since that first day, right?” Not in public. “No.” “See? That’s an improvement.” she pauses, lifting her head up and inching her face closer to mine. She’s getting...really close. Yosano smiles and gently kisses my cheek as Tani’s voice in the background fades out. “Maybe I don’t have to worry about you so much anymore.” “A-Are you sure?” I ask as Yosano lets go of my hand. “I’m still a mess and a half.” “Oh, I’ll still worry.” she says, as the piano stops, and the violin fades out. “But from now on, I won’t be as worried...or, I’ll try anyways.” “Oh?” “I just remembered yesterday when you tripped walking to dinner and I had to catch you.” she says, and I instantly look away. That was embarrassing enough as it is. “Ah, who am I kidding, you need me. Without me you’re gonna bust a lip or something.” I smile. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” “Of course, Ku-chan.” she says. “Anytime.” After a few minutes of doing nothing, I found myself dancing to another song with Rai now. Rai has their hand on my lower back like I had with Yosano, and Rai is much more comfortable with this slow-dancing thing than Yosano. Rai moves gingerly, and I honestly find myself stumbling over myself trying to keep up with them. “You do this often?” I ask, and Rai smiles. “All the time.” they respond. “S-Sorry if I seem quiet right now, this takes a lot of concentration.” As if on cue, Rai nearly falls over their own foot, and if I weren’t holding onto their hand as tightly as I was, Rai would’ve fell face-first onto the wood floor. Instead, I hold Rai up and Rai only falls slowly to their knees. Instantly, Rai hops back up to his feet -- their face red -- and gets back into the position we were in before. “Are you okay?” “Y-Yeah, sorry, like I said, a lot of concentration.” I nod, and we continue to dance in silence until the song ends, and afterwards I walk with Rai over to the table with the water, and grab a couple of bottles and we sit down on the bleachers. “Thank you for catching me.” Rai says, and I shake my head. “Anytime, Rai.” “Anytime?” “Well, if you’re gonna fall, at least do it in front of me so I can be all heroic and stuff.” Rai frowns and sticks out their tongue at me. “Mean.” “H-How!?” “Hoping I fall just so you can catch me…” I gasp, clutching my heart and feigning to be hurt. “I thought I was being romantic.” “Romantic?” Rai repeats, tilting their head. “Never in my years as a screenplay writer have I used the ‘fall-and-catch’ trope, because it’s stupid.” “Stupid?!” I repeat. “You’re such a harsh critic.” “I have to be, especially when you want me to fall!” “I don’t want you to!” I exclaim. “I’m just saying if you were to, do it so I got you.” “Are you sure you just don’t want me to fall?” “I’m positive, Rai!” “Pretty positive?” “Pretty positive.” Rai looks away from me, crossing their arms. “I don’t trust you!” “Rude!” I exclaim, and Rai’s lips slowly curve upwards. I look back to the stage, and Azama, Shiho, and Tani are all standing together, talking among one another. Nakata is still off to the side, holding up the camera from before...ah, is she recording this? So, she’s just been standing off by herself this entire time recording it? That’s kinda...sad. Maybe I should ask her… “Do it, Ken!” Rai whispers -- why are you so excited all of a sudden?! “Ask her to dance.” “U-Uh.” “Please!” “I-I was gonna!” “I know, but now you gotta!” “I was going to!” “Stop the bickering, you two.” I look to my right and see Sasada sitting by her lonesome, staring at the floor below her. “You’re just like a married couple.” A m-married couple?! “Are we that old?” Rai asks, poking my shoulder. T-That’s not what she meant, Rai. Bless your soul. “Okay,” Tani says, through the mic. “Get ready for our next song, a cover of an English song, ‘Piece of my Heart’ that Shiomi arranged.” This is probably a good time. I rise from my spot on the bleachers, and jump down to the wooden floor. “Have fun!” Rai calls out, and, I can’t help but smile back at them. I pass Saishi and MonoMech, who were having a conversation about...god knows what...and when I get to Nakata, she’s still watching through the camera lens. “Hi, Nakata!” “Ken.” she greets, but, her focus doesn’t break. “How are you?” “Good...you?” “I’m having fun.” she says, looking back at me. “What’s up?” I smile and move the hair in front of my eye away. Am I getting nervous? There’s nothing to be nervous about. “Wanna dance with me?” With only four words, I somehow got Nakata to stare at me like she was gonna rip my head off. She glares at me, and the camera in her hand starts to shake. I take a couple of steps back. “I-I’m sorry.” She pauses, before looking away from me. “Don’t be. Sorry, I’m not much of a dancer. I’m perfectly content recording it.” Should I press the subject? I probably shouldn’t, should I? “Are you sure?” Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man? Goddamn it, Ken. “Yes.” “Are you super sure?” And didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can? “Please, stop.” Honey, you know I did! “Sorry.” “Don’t be,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. “If you want, you can stay with me though. I could use the company.” “Awwwwww.” Oops, that was unintentional. “Leave.” “Nononono I didn’t mean it, I swear!” I exclaim, and I can hear her sigh from where she is. “Fine.” I smile and skip to her side. She glances over to me, and a small smile escapes her lips. And so, for the rest of the performance, I spent my time talking with Nakata and listening to Tani, Azama, & Shiho’s music. It was a lot of fun, to be honest. Everyone was having a great time! By the time the performance ended, there was not one person who didn’t have a smile on their face. And now, here I am, stuck cleaning up afterwards. Luckily I’m not the only one, Azama, Shiho, Yosano and Saishi stayed back to move the table back into the dining hall, and to help carry Shiho’s piano back into his room. Shiho, Yosano, Saishi, and myself were carrying the piano into Shiho’s room while Azama carried the legs of the piano (that we had to remove to fit it through the door). Once we were fit through the door, Azama re-attached the legs and we set it down beside his bed. “Good work, team.” Yosano says, wiping her forehead and leaning her head against Shiho’s wall. “Very good work.” “See what happens when we work together?!” Saishi exclaims, smiling to himself. “Chill, we just lifted a piano.” Shiho says, shaking his head. “Thank you all, though.” I smile and nod my head. “Anytime.” “That was fun, guys.” Yosano says. “When’s the next concert?” “Another one?” Azama asks, looking to Shiho, who looks back. “Who knows.” “You guys were awesome though!” “Thank you, Ku-chan, but I don’t think we can do another one until we get Shiomi to write some more music...he takes a while.” Does he? “Yeah, but, I’m done for the night.” Yosano smiles, looking at me. “I’m going to sleep.” “Good night, Yosano.” I say, and then Saishi repeats. After Yosano leaves, I turn to the three still standing around. “I should probably go, too. Good night you three.” “Good night, Ku-chan!” “Good night, Ken!” After waving goodbye, I went back to my room and locked my door. I changed into my pajamas and jumped right into bed. Today was a long day...a lot of ups and downs. But, ending on an up had to mean good was to come, right? That’s the only thing that makes sense! I think--I think I can go to sleep tonight knowing that when I wake up tomorrow, everyone will be there to greet me just like normal. But, of course, how was I supposed to know? How was I supposed to know that as I drifted out of consciousness that night, a tragedy was taking place. Category:Anguish & Desire Category:Anguish & Desire Chapters